Since yesterday's declaration from the POTUS about the status of transgender individuals in the military, things have been stressful in my house.  Not because anyone close to us is currently servicing as a transgender servicemen, but because the topic is so hot that everyone that knows that Amanda is transitioning wants to discuss it and it's stressing her out.  I will admit that I have been following the topic on social media pretty closely, but I have to stop myself from mentioning anything I read to her because I don't want to add to her stress.  It's hard to watch someone you love change fundamentally, I don't always know what to say to her to ease her stress.  It's not only the crap coming from the White House that is bothering her, work is stressful, being afraid that some stranger at the gas station will be unkind is stressful.  Seems like the simplest things I do everyday are really hard for her.  She mentioned she wanted to take a break and get away for a while, but she's afraid to go on a road trip because of who we might encounter or not knowing where the trans-friendly bathrooms are located.  As her spouse I have taken on the role of her protector and I volunteered for it, but there are times I feel woefully unqualified for the task.  What do you say when someone you love is so stressed that asking if she's okay stresses her out?  I think the answer is not to saying anything,  I hold her in my arms and I pray.  I pray for strength, I pray for clarity, but most of all I pray that our world doesn't revert to a less tolerant state of mind.  The statistics are frightening, I think I recently read that 43% of transgender people attempt suicide at one point or another during their lifetime. That number is staggering and it includes people who haven't yet accepted that they are transgender, those who know who they are but haven't come to terms with it, those who are in the middle of transitioning, and those who have lived as their chosen gender.  These are people that need love and support and more often than not do not get it.  I have vowed that WILL NOT be me.  I am an Ally, I am a partner, and I refuse to make my spouse's life harder simply because her gender identity doesn't match the body she was born in.  This journey is just beginning for us and I am quite certain that there are more twists and turns to come, but my resolve is steadfast and I will admit that I am sometimes very tired.

Hug the ones who love and support you & don't stand for anything less.

Jenn

I'm back!  Recently there have been many changes in my life that I was not able to talk about outside of my immediate family, but my therapist thinks it would be helpful to write down the details of these changes from my perspective.  Hopefully this will help me organize my thoughts and maybe sharing things may help others in my position. Those of you who know me personally are aware that in April my spouse begun transitioning publicly from Robert to Amanda. This was not a surprise to me, she had begun transitioning in private a year ago or so.  This journey has sometimes been difficult but has been equally rewarding. Having my partner change completely is something I never expected, but we are adapting.  My father tells me a lot that he doesn't understand and that he feels like he is losing the part of his family that he once considered 'Perfect'.  I'm not giving up on my Dad, I will help him understand eventually.  In the meantime, from my side I never completely enjoyed life as a perfect family, there is a lot of pressure when you are perfect.   I really do hate the word PERFECT, makes me feel like one step in any direction will lead to failure.  I do love going on an adventure and this does feel like the ultimate adventure.  We are meeting new people and experiencing things I never thought we would.  Although there have been low moments, the high moments bring real tears to my life and I actually feel like I am living. 

Here's a picture of Cate and Amanda walking in the Pride parade in NYC. They stood in the street on Madison Ave:

Our kids are doing great & watching them adjust has been heartwarming to say the very least. Turns out I helped raise the kindest, most loving girls & I am just amazed by them each day.  Below I've posted my recent manicures, head over to my IG (@polishedjenn) for full descriptions. Feel free to ask me questions. Jenn ❤️

My Chihuahua Bits! from OPI

To The Mouse House We Go by OPI

Mrs. Robinson by Color Club

Lucid La La Land by SuperChic Lacquer

Halcyon by Cirque Colors

Posh by Revlon with Stassi by Zoya over the top